I can't live for What I've done
by REDROOM VALINTINESDAY
Summary: Pain was what he felt. One simple movement of the knife and it would all be over.


We _aren't brothers and we'll never will be._ yotaka said. Those words were the exact words gareki had told him that night when he had come running towards him.

 _you think I'd want to live in that hell hole with you two!_ gareki said. _Get out of here this isn't about you!_

 _yotaka looked hurt. he clenched his teeth together. You can go to HELL!_ then he ran off.

 _I'm not a person you get close to- That's just how it is. gareki said._

...End of flash back...

 _kill me like I deserve!_ yelled tsubame.

 _No! you don't mean that! gareki said in shock. getting to his feet he grabbed her hand. You don't mean that, the old man is still alive, how are you going to pay his bills if you decide to off yourself! gareki yelled._

 _Yes I do! I've been taking the drug to at least for awhile until yotaka hid them from me. And you think we've been paying for all that. we could never make that kind of money. A family member from a different state has been sending us money for grandpa's bills._

 _tsubame gave him a hurt and disappointing look. you have no idea of what your skipping out on us did. That was your choice to leave. This is my choice to die. Then she turned back around and grabbed tsukitachi's hand._

 _gareki stood there powerless to do anything to stop her._

 ** _there has to be another way!_** gareki thought.

...end of flash back...

gareki was on air ship 2 staring out the window in his and nai's bedroom.

nai had gone out to play with tsukuomo an hour ago.

 _I'm sorry._ gareki kept repeating the apology in his head over and over but he still didn't feel any better about what he had done.

It's my fault that there gone. gareki muttered quietly. I shouldn't have left. It's all my fault. he shoved his hand into his black hair pushing it away from his face. he bit his lip so hard he could taste blood. with both of his hands he moved them towards his stomach and squeezed the black shirt he was wearing hard as he fell to his knees.

yotaka...tsubame...I'm sorry. gareki said letting a tear roll down his nose as he leaned down his head.

Nai had come into the room not noticing that gareki was crying. Gareki are you ok. does your stomach hurt is that why your holding it so tightly? nai asked.

get out. gareki said quietly.

I could try and make you something so you can feel better.

nai..get out. gareki said still to quietly.

Or maybe I should ask one of the sheep to get you something warm. said nai coming closer.

Nai...GET OUT! gareki yelled a little to loudly. all week he had been speaking in a quiet voice it took him a while to find it.

Nai looked hurt. O-okay gareki I hope...you feel better. then he turned and left shutting the door behind him.

gareki hadn't meant to yell. That was the least thing he wanted right now was to hurt more people.

It had been two weeks when his sister and brother had died. All because of me. gareki said in a trance. I ...loathed myself for what I did... gareki got up slowly to his feet. and sluggishly opened the door.

I can't live...for what I've done. gareki muttered. he used the wall for support to walk down the hallway.

yogi had spotted him and saw his condition. he was paler then usual and his eye's were red from crying. yogi walked over to him. gareki are you okay. yogi asked.

it was like gareki hadn't heard him as he kept walking muttering the words I can't live for what I've done in like he was in a trance.

yogi had remembered about his brother and sister. Wait gareki, are you still upset about your brother and sister.

Get away from me...it doesn't...concern you. gareki muttered in a tired voice then he continued to repeat the last words he had been saying over and over again.

yogi followed him he couldn't let gareki continue to be hurt about something that he thought was his fault. gareki knew yogi was following him. once he got to the kitchen's entrance he stopped and turned to yogi.

you need to leave me...this doesn't concern you. gareki said in the same tired miserable voice.

No your not acting right. This isn't you. yogi said trying to reason with him. gareki walked up to him and slowly rapped his arms around him in a hug. yogi was in shock gareki was actually hugging him this time.

I'm sorry but I have to do this. I...loathed my self to live any longer. gareki said with that he grabbed the kitchen door and slammed it in yogi's face locking it so he wouldn't be bothered. he heard yogi banging on the door saying gareki you don't have to do this.

gareki pushed his back against the door. and laughed a little pushing his hand threw his hair. I'm sorry yogi...But I need to do this. he stood up and walked forward all the while he could here yogi trying to open the door.

gareki very calmly looked threw drawers for a specific object he finally came across one and picked it up. he stood a few feet away from the door as yogi burst inside.

but it was to late gareki had the knife to his neck with an expressionless face. I can't live...for what I've done. gareki said in a trance.

NOO! yogi yelled running forward but gareki had already sliced his neck.

Gareki let one tear fall as he fell backwards. yogi caught him before he hit his head.

oh god...g-gareki. why would you...yogi muttered in shock.

blood spilled out of gareki's mouth as he stared wide eye'd up at yogi. you...weren't s-supposed...to. gareki muttered closing and opening his eyes. His vision was getting blurt and all he wanted to do was close them.

I- I'm sorry. gareki said tears rolling down his face.

This was the second time yogi had seen him cry. You had so...much to look forward to...in your life. yogi said crying. Yogi thought to call for help but even if they could the cut mark was to deep gareki would be dead by the time they got there.

I'm...gonna miss you... yogi said completely breaking down. Gareki! you idiot...why. why!

For...once I'm not weak...I deserved...to- die. For w-what I...did to them. Gareki cried. For...once...I'm strong. Like...you guys...gareki said smiling his voice growing faint at every word he spoke. tears rolled down his pale cheeks as he closed his eye's. His head leaned to the side as he lay in yogi's arms dead. yogi din't believe it he couldn't be dead he wasn't dead.

This was gareki he was talking about. The boy who was smart had an attitude but at the same time he was caring even though he didn't show it he was all ways that way.

gareki. yogi mumbled hugging his dead body smearing more blood over his clothes. blood was on the floor around them.

later in the day the entire ship had seen gareki's life less body and they buried him in a near by town in a cemitary. where apparently both of his brother and sister were. every one was in a sad mood tsukuom had explained to nai why gareki was acting the way he did and why he wanted to die.

Nai had a cold feeling in the pit of his chest the same feeling he had felt that night when gareki's sister was crying from her brother dieing.


End file.
